It was the beginning of December. I was alone because your dad had to go to California. I was freaking out because I was a few days late for my period. I told your dad that I was considering that I was pregnant because I was NEVER late. He was quiet, he stopped responding for a moment. I knew he was scared too. He told me we’d have to get rid of you if I was pregnant. When he got home a few days later, he really just wanted to find a way out. But what I was afraid to tell him was that I didn’t really want to. I was fighting with the way I felt about abortion. I didn’t dislike it but it wasn’t for me. I personally thought, for me, it was something I couldn’t do. In January, we were sure I was pregnant but I’d just gotten a pregnancy test and when I took it, it was positive. I have to say, when I first found out I was gonna have you, I didn’t know how to feel. I felt a lot of things. I was disappointed. I was sad. I was happy, scared, unsure and even confused. I was disappointed in myself for allowing it to happen before I was ready for you, before I was married. I was sad at knowing that it would disappoint my family and daddy’s family. I was scared because I didn’t know how I was going to provide for you. I was confused at why I was feeling so many things. I was unsure about how your father would react and if I would even keep you. But of all those things I felt, I was happy. I was happy because I loved you so much and you hadn’t taken a breath or even had a heartbeat. I was happy in spite of everything I was going to have to go through because I knew that it would all be worth it for you. All the ridicule and struggle I’d have to put up with wouldn’t hurt me because of you.