36 weeks and 5 days
I had a uti so it’s causing gastritis pain constantly. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’d rather have to deal with the contractions. It just gets gradually worse and worse until I’m forced to vomit because for whatever reason, that’s how my body deals with pain. But again, I am dealing with this because I love you and you are my motivation to get through it all.
I dreamed of you again last night.
You were so beautiful! And so fair skinned. Guess you took after your dad in that dream. You had this long, jet black hair and the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen. I was playing with you outside. Your aunts and uncle were there too. I didn’t want to put you down. We were having so much fun. I didn’t want to wake up. It was such a great dream.
The first time I heard your heart beat <3
I’ll never forget the day. May 29th of 2012. I just wanted to hear 2 things, that you were healthy and if you were a boy or a girl. Then they let me hear one more thing. Your heart. I couldn’t help but smile. It was an uncontrollable reflex. I smiled like a goofy idiot. Hearing your heart working, and knowing how tiny it and you were, it was so wonderful. So real. Knowing that what I was hearing was one of the few things you will always have inside you keeping you alive, it was just… the most amazing feeling. It was fast and quiet. I couldn’t believe my ears. It was the first time I would hear anything, or any part, of you. :)
